The Reading:

Excerpt from a full written reading shared with permission.

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Thank you for your questions. I already sense the heavy energy from your situation and the cards exude it also, and I can really feel you carrying the weight of too many emotional realities at once. Like you said, you are asking, "What’s wrong and what’s making me feel this way? Is it my studies? The money? My dad?" and the cards are responding with, "Yes. It’s all of it, and your need to fix it all."

The most important thing for you to realise is that you are not feeling this way because everything is doomed or falling apart(although understandably it may very well feel this way), but because you are currently being expected to hold on to multiple uncertainties at once. For a person that has never really had to worry about these things before, that can understandably feel horrible and unsettling. It’s no wonder you are feeling lost; there’s all these different influences and stressors that naturally make you worry about the direction your life is heading in.

When reading your question and putting your cards down, the last card I put down was the High Priestess, but it was also the first one I uncovered, very quickly. There was a strong aura of urgency with this card. The message of the High Priestess is vital to understand, so I want you to keep that in mind throughout this reading, before I delve deeper into the card’s meaning.

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Is There Something Specific Should You Keep In Mind? What Else Can You Do To Help Yourself?

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Two of your questions were followed by a strong intuitive feeling of having to pull specific cards. When uncovered, those were the Five of Swords and Seven of Swords together in relation to whether there is anything specific that you should keep in mind going forward, and the King of Cups in relation to your question of whether there is something you can do to help yourself apart from talking to your partner or working out. As I read that you were unsure what your feelings were about, I pulled the 10 of Pentacles and the World together.

Let’s start with the two Swords cards. There is an interesting energy here to start with; even the cards reflect your feeling of being completely defeated and helpless in this situation! Thoughts are moving quickly, from one to another and it feels like one thing after another just goes wrong. The more you think about it, the quicker your emotions move and you end up feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. However, large emotions like those aside, you are also left feeling simply upset. It is important to acknowledge that. Sometimes, we don’t realise how important it is to notice the seemingly “smaller” emotions(or rather, they may seem small to us: those people experiencing them, although they are not any less valid than others) and we try to think before we feel. It’s vital that you allow yourself to sit with your emotions, and practice doing so before you grow them with your thoughts. And, although I did not pull this card specifically, the Hanged Man comes to mind, being the twelfth Major Arcana card, which is the number that adds up when you add your two Swords cards together.

 

This is a strong confirmation of your feelings, and you must understand that feeling like you have no way out of this situation is a completely valid feeling. However, not everything is as it seems, and to answer your question about what specifically you should keep in mind going forward: understand that what feels stagnant and seems unfixable, does not mean that things are not capable of being moved along. Proceed through this with practical solutions and spend some time thinking about what can help to improve this situation - this may be taking control of the situations by acting on them with a goal to improve the situation: creating an organized timetable to stick to with studies, changing your study environment even if it means re-decorating your desk to give you a new perspective, creating and most importantly finishing projects to help you with your financial situation such as refreshing a CV or cover letter and even creating different versions for different roles, creating two or even three portfolios that showcase all of your skills if they vary, contacting your father more often and organizing ways to spend time together, even if you are apart(perhaps a video call, an online multiplayer game, a recipe exchange, or others), and many more things you can do.

 

In all of this, it is vital that you do not forget to recognize and acknowledge your emotions and understand that you are simply sad. Sit with the sadness, meditate on it, and allow yourself to take some time to cry in solitude; as you do, pay close attention to how the sadness feels. Does it feel like a lump in your throat, goosebumps, what other physical sensations do you feel? Notice them all, thank your sadness - because the purpose of your sadness is to protect you from the bad - and visualise all of those feelings being washed away with every tear or every heavy exhale. So, think and plan and do, but don’t forget to hug your weeping soul.

[The center part of the reading (approximately 900 words) has been removed with respect for the querent's privacy]

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The High Priestess In The Reading

The High Priestess is an incredibly significant card in this reading, being both the final card placed down and the first card revealed. The High Priestess appeared here because you are asking constantly “what do I do” when a possibly more effective question is really “how do I trust myself while I don't know what to do?"
She is not a card that gives an immediate answer, but one that insists you look to your inner self, your inner knowing and your intuition. Don’t try to force certainty and stability, and don’t feel the need to make huge decisions right now, in fact, the High Priestess is telling you to stop demanding that you have all the answers right now right this second, because right now right this second, your life contains questions that cannot yet be answered. Will your studies work out? Will money improve? What will happen with your dad? How long will this all last? The High Priestess has one answer: You don’t know yet and that’s OK. And as unsatisfying as it may sound, it is the true medicine of this reading, because your suffering is not coming only from the instability and uncertainty, but rather from fighting uncertainty and trying to force stability at a time where you need to allow yourself to process it all. Practice trusting yourself more than you trust the fear and upset; now is the perfect time for this practice. You do not need to know how everything will unfold over the next few months as much as you would want to. All you have to do, is keep taking the next step and take care of yourself, your emotions, your own health and your bond with your father.
All in all, there is no catastrophe in this very emotionally intense situation; but we are masters at creating the illusion with our thoughts. So, work with your thoughts, and use them for practical movement ahead, and in the meantime, nourish the person within you that needs that emotional hug. You are absolutely on the right path, even if you feel lost. You’ve got this and you can do this!

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Cards pulled: 5 of Swords, 7 of Swords, 10 of Pentacles, the World, King of Cups, 10 of Cups, 9 of Wands, The High Priestess

An image of the cards and Tarot spread was attached for the querent, with the querent's initials written on a piece of paper by the spread.